Pickwick12's Xanga

Food? Meh

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:39:19 GMT

I am not skinny, and I don't have an eating disorder.

Nevertheless, I don't like food.

Don't get me wrong, there are individual foods and types of food I can like sometimes, but even so, quite often the thought of eating anything is repulsive. Sometimes my problem is that I don't eat enough to keep my metabolism going.

They say that if you are truly hungry, you will be willing to eat anything. This is not true of me. Very often, I would rather deal with hunger pangs than put anything in my mouth. Now, I am in no way trivializing the real starvation problems in the world. Yes, I get enough and more than enough. It's just that I can't seem to get excited about it.

I am one of those people who would be delighted if they came out with a pill you could take daily to get your full nutrition. I would want to eat food sometimes, maybe every couple or three days, but that way I wouldn't have to eat on the days when food seems disgusting.

When I find a food that really excites me, it's a big deal. I recently discovered sushi, and everyone laughs at me because I eat it so often. But really, imagine to yourself that you can't stand most foods and suddenly find one you love. It's a big deal!

Overall, though, it's not the taste I can't stand. It's the texture, the act of putting something in your mouth, swallowing, eating. Again, I do not have an eating disorder. I eat. But...yuck.

I've never been big on food since I was little, but Crohn's Disease also does something there. In fact, it can cause anorexia; it makes patients want to avoid food because of the horrible associations with what happens when they eat. Thankfully, I do not have anorexia; I just go through regular periods of time when I dislike the idea of food.

I believe food is a gift from God, and I want to learn to appreciate it more.

What's your food orientation?

Prayers Needed!

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:11:09 GMT

I haven't been blogging much lately. It's been on purpose because I've been going through so much emotionally and spiritually that I had no idea how to say anything that would make sense or be helpful in any way.

I believe that what is going on in me now is that Satan is losing so much ground that he's fighting harder than he ever has as he sees his strongholds being ripped out of his grasp by my Savior.

I had another punch today. It's almost like being hit in the face. I am not sure what to do or how to deal with it. Once again, it relates to school. I need God's wisdom because the next few days could see me changing my schedule by withdrawing from a course for the first time ever. I am desperate to get out from under the control of a professor who seems so horrendous to deal with that I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I had him last session, and I was devastated to find that I was going to have him again this time.

I need to know if God wants to bring me out or bring me through.

I realize that all of these things that keep happening are results of Satan's anger at my spiritual progress as well as opportunities to trust Christ in me to a greater degree than ever before.

Please pray for me.

Thanks so much

Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Positive

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:13:59 GMT

2 Corinthians 1:20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God.

Christ is our YES, the ever-present affirmation that God will do what He has promised.

Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

Are you 1,000 generations from the first person in your family who loved God? No? Well, you're nowhere NEAR exhausting God's faithfulness and love.

Psalm 130:4 But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.

Why do we fear (revere) God? Because His mercy is incomprehensibly wonderful.

Deuteronomy 6:5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

What does God want most from you? LOVE. How do you love Him? Let Him love you and see what happens!

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

God loves and creates beauty.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

God desires to give you rest TODAY!

Matthew 28:20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Jesus isn't going anywhere!

What verses encourage you?

Unmoved

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:11:48 GMT

I'm sick, the kind that puts you in bed or sitting near it. According to the scale, I lost 7 or 8 pounds in between last Wednesday and yesterday. Crohn's Disease is not fun.

BUT

But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God. Acts 20:24

Why I believe in birth control

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:05:35 GMT

I believe God is in control of all things. I also believe He has put certain natural processes in motion that are natural laws because He made them that way.

For instance, it is a natural law that if you eat extra, you will gain weight. Now, there are some exceptions. Some people can eat more than normal and not gain weight because they have unusually fast metabolisms, but the general law remains.

Does anyone want to argue that I should eat and then pray that I will only gain weight if it's God's will? No, because we know how that natural process works. If I eat more than I burn, I will gain weight.

Now, I fully agree that children are a blessing from the Lord. I also know what needs to happen in order for a child to be conceived. The way natural law works, if the biological necessities are there, a child is going to be conceived. God sometimes intervenes to change natural law, but not often. If two people sleep together enough and are healthy, they will conceive. Are there exceptions? Sure, but the natural law is still there.

I don't see a fundamental difference. God allows natural processes to dictate how much I weigh based on how much I eat and burn (I realize that's a simplification). Does he care how much I eat? Sure, but the point is, He allows the natural process to work. In the same way, God cares very much how many children people have, but He allows natural processes to work in that area as well.

As long as a human being is not being killed by the birth control method used, I believe it is permissible. We no longer live in a time when half of our children die in infancy or when we need them to help us harvest crops. I believe big families are a great blessing and that we should be open to God calling us to bring more children into this world. I also believe that birth control is a blessing that allows us to change natural processes. If I eat, I'll gain weight. If I exercise, I'll be able to keep that natural process from happening. If a healthy couple sleeps together, they'll conceive. If they use birth control, they'll be able to modify that natural process and plan ahead.

All of that said, I don't wish to argue with someone who has a different conviction. People should do what they believe is right in God's sight.

What are your thoughts?

Ophthalmic Migraine (A Picture Post)

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:33:29 GMT

This is what it looks like. It's beautiful, like an art show in your brain being shown on the projection screen of your vision. Suddenly, a little slice of reality smashes into slivers of silver, and it grows and grows, and turns colors like a prism.

(Note: If any of these pictures are yours and you want them taken down, let me know, and I will.)

Real Men

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 23:34:19 GMT

After reading a depressing (at least to me) featured post on Mancouch about the male psyche, I thought I would celebrate the great qualities of the real men I have known.

1. Real men are selfless enough to turn off the TV and listen when needed.

2. Real men care about their appearance.

3. Real men care enough about the woman they're with to reassure her when she needs it.

4. Real men are kind.

5. Real men spend time with their children.

6. Real men are honest and straightforward.

7. Real men compromise when it doesn't matter and stand their ground when it matters.

8. Real men have confidence.

9. Real men do not demand things of the people they love.

10. Real men give their best in the things they do.

11. Real men are mature enough to put themselves third. (Jesus-others-self)

12. Real men are willing to fight for a woman's heart, not sit on the couch and wait for her to take the initiative, both before marriage and throughout its entire duration.

13. Real men are willing to die for what they believe and the people they love.

14. Real men know what real respect and love are, both the receiving (from God) and the giving (to others).

And lastly,

15. Real men exist. These are not pie-in-the-sky fantasy qualities. They are all embodied by real men I have known like my father, my grandfathers, my uncles, my cousins, and my friends.

There's only one way to start down the road of being a real man, and that's beginning a relationship with Jesus Christ, the ultimate, perfect, awesome real man.

Dedicated to the real men I've known. May others continue to follow you.

What qualities would you add to this list?

Health Junk :)

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:48:32 GMT

Having had many health challenges over the past few years, I have picked up a few basic tips that you may or may not know. They're super basic. Enjoy.

1. Ibuprofen (ingredient found in nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories like Advil or Aleve) is not the greatest if used repeatedly for a long period of time because it's extremely rough on the digestive system. If you must use it for a longer period of time, stagger it with acetominophen (Tylenol).

2. Acetominophen is also harmful if overused. It will trash the liver. Don't just pop a big handful of pills. You may be able to tolerate it in the sense of not keeling over dead right then, but it's toxic. Like I said above, try to stagger it with ibuprofen and don't take more than the recommended maximum dose for a 24-hour period.

3. If you must be on high-dose steroids for a period of time, expect mood/personality changes, sleep disturbance, and weight gain due to appetite changes. In my experience, these symptoms don't just happen to some people; they're pretty universal. Steroids stay in your system for up to 1 year after you take them, so try to get off as soon as possible.

4. Doctors sometimes try to re-introduce medications that appear to have caused allergic reactions in the past, thinking that either they will not cause them now, or that they were not the cause in the first place. If you are uncomfortable with this or feel unsafe, put your foot down.

5. Your thoughts about whether a treatment will work affect its effectiveness. If you have no confidence in a particular thing, don't let yourself be pushed into it.

6. Doctors are paid to help you be as healthy as possible. Their usual procedure is to look for something new to try if previous treatments have not worked. If you want a break from this, or even feel like you're done with it, tell your doctor. He or she needs to know that you are not going to be upset if the endless search for something new is halted for a while in favor of rest. If you don't explain your feelings, you will be increasingly frustrated as your doctor tries to find new ways to help you. He isn't trying to drive you mental; he believes he's doing what you want and need.

7. Try not to be passive-aggressive. If you don't agree with the doctor's orders, just say so and make it clear that you don't intend to follow them. He or she may disagree, but will appreciate knowing where you stand and what to expect. If you keep nodding and then going home and doing the opposite, both of you will keep being frustrated.

8. If you explain that you don't like taking a lot of medication, many doctors will try to work with you to find treatment options that have as little medicine dependence as possible. This is true of regular doctors, not just holistic physicians or chiropractors.

9. If your doctor is a jerk, find a new one. This seems like a bit of a no-brainer, but it seems like a lot of people feel trapped with a doctor they are used to, but can't stand. There are a lot of great doctors. Find one.

10. Beyond jerky doctors, you may be going to a really nice doctor, but with whom you have major disagreements about your treatment. This happened to me not that long ago. Neither of us was anything but cordial, but we had "irreconcilable differences" regarding what the next steps should be. In that case, it's best to change to a new doctor who shares your feelings. I was able to move to a new doctor in the same practice and have been delighted since. The bottom line is: Don't stay with a mean doctor or a doctor with whom you constantly disagree, out of some sense of obligation. Find a new one.

Yankees Clinch!

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:26:47 GMT

The New York Yankees just clinched their first AL East Division title since 2006. The Pinstripes are still the best. As my friend Alex wrote today, you can put a man in an Armani suit next to a man in the Pinstripes, and they'll look equally classy.

In honor of the day, a re-post. Enjoy!

The Pinstripes

Bury me in pinstripes,
Embalm me with pine tar
I can trash-talk with the best
Of them and spit like a ballboy.
Get me some chalk.
I’ll strike out the side.

You from the other side
Don’t scoff at the pinstripes.
They wrote success in chalk
And sweat blood and tar,
Every catcher and ballboy,
Nothing but the best

Becoming the best
Means hate on every side
From manager to ballboy,
Cling to the pinstripes
With loyalty thick as tar,
Make them eat chalk

Covered in chalk
They defined the best
With cleats on clay and tar.
Looking to the inside,
The heart of the pinstripes.
A ring for every ballboy.

No monument for a ballboy,
You say, but it’s in the chalk
And the crease of the pinstripes,
The rush of being the best,
Of walking outside
And smelling pine tar.

Every year it’s the same tar,
The same kids with ballboy
Dreams finding wonder on every side
As the wind fills the air with chalk.
But every year it’s the best,
Because every year it’s the pinstripes.

Yesterday on every side, intoxicated by tar,
Formal in pinstripes, no longer just ballboys.
Written in chalk, We are the best.

Autism: Myths Debunked

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:25:34 GMT

I'm sure this has been done a million times, but I'm going to do it again. I help to moderate a neuro-diversity forum on another website, and most of our members are on the autism spectrum. This is list is mostly aimed at those, like me, who are neuro-typical and may not understand. I have done quite a bit of research and have had a great deal of interaction with those on the spectrum.

If anything in this list is offensive or incorrect according to your knowledge, please let me know, and I will edit.

Myth #1 Autistic people cannot communicate.

This myth is one that my mother has dealt with from her generation. In the past, the face of autism was very specific and extreme. We now know that autism is a spectrum that moves from high-functioning to lower-functioning. The majority of those on the spectrum are high-functioning (Asperger is on this end as well).

In fact, in my experiences with those on the spectrum, I have found many to be excellent communicators with rich thought lives that have blessed me and given me windows into other ways of thinking. One of the best writers I know has Asperger Syndrome.

Myth # 2 Autistic people have no emotions.

Autistic people may experience and express emotions differently from neuro-typical persons, but they have very strong ones. One of the most heartbreaking things I see on our forum is the amount of stress and frustration those with autism/Asperger feel at their treatment by others. I often admire their perseverance in sticking with school and jobs because of the added pressure to live up to societal norms that do not come naturally.

Myth # 3 Autistic people are all the same.

Autistic people are as varied in personality and interests as the general population.

Myth # 4 Autistic people are all geniuses.

"Rain Man" may be a good movie, but it propagated the errant stereotype of autistic people as emotionless savants. While an extremely small percentage of autistic people have special talents, their intelligence varies just like the intelligence of the general population.

One reason those on the spectrum may seem extra-intelligent at times is that many have special interests that they devote much time and interest to. They may become experts in these areas; however, they are not savants, simply people who worked hard to assimilate knowledge and expertise.

Myth # 5 Autistic people are all non-intelligent.

Same explanation as above. The intelligence of autistic individuals varies, just as it does in the neuro-typical population. Many with high-functioning autism/Asperger go to regular school and perform equally with peers. A few do significantly better, and a few do worse.

Myth # 6 Autistic people cannot have meaningful human relationships.

This is blatantly untrue. The neuro-diverse individuals I know are faithful, loyal, and often extra-considerate of others' feelings. It is particularly fun to connect over shared interests. In addition, I don't know if this holds true, but I have found those on the spectrum to often have hilarious senses of humor. Just like with anything, the social behavior of those on the spectrum varies with each individual.

Myth # 7 Autistic people do not have social skills.

My answer to this is probably controversial, but here's my take. I feel like, in a certain sense, autistic individuals "speak" a different social language than neuro-typical individuals. Some people describe it as "Non-autistic people have social skills, while autistic people do not." I do not agree with this any more. I believe autistic individuals have their own social language that is often understood by other neuro-diverse individuals. I view interaction as an opportunity for me to become bilingual.

Myth # 8 Autistic people cannot succeed.

While there are certainly challenges to be met by neuro-diverse individuals in a world set up for the neuro-typical, it is certainly insane to say that autism precludes success. Some autistic/Asperger individuals have spectacular success; others face more difficulties. The majority live, work, and have regular lives.

What other myths would you add to this list? Are any of these surprising to you?